I decided to post a brief outline of my journey thus far. The support and advice was overwhelming. In all my years I always thought that them 2 pages of my adoption papers were all that existed. I'd never actually thought that there would be more.. hospital records.. court orders.. social worker records. But I was soon well advised that there would be all this and more that I am entitled to. This was the the spark i needed to keep going with my search.
I found the adoption agency I was processed through (which had since changed name) and had soon sent off my application for 'social and medical information' files. They said to expect a wait of up to 3 months!
Waiting..waiting...patience is not my best trait!
While waiting, I also was told I was able to send for a copy of my birthmothers own birth certificate. This would hopefully give me names of her parents, which will help me in my search for other family.
Another form filled in and sent..more waiting!
August 2011 - It had been just over 12 months since my first and last phone call to Judith. I decided to give it another go. Maybe by now she had had time to think about it a bit more, and maybe remembered some things she had forgot last time, such as my birthfathers full name.
But nothing had changed.. there was no joy or gratefulness in her voice to hear from me, and she was still not giving me any extra information on my birthfather. She was still denying knowing him for 2 years as stated on adoption papers.
This is so frustrating..to know that someone at sometime is outright lying, and I just need the truth and answers! Either Judith told lies back then for her own reasons, or was it the social worker/adoption agency just writing whatever they wanted on the forms way back then as it did happen in some instances..or was Judith lying now? I deserve the truth! Dont I?
August 19 2011 - OMG!! I have just received an extract of my mothers birth certificate! Her mothers maiden name is a not very common name so a quick look on ancestry.com finds her pretty fast. i know i would never be able to meet them in person....
I already knew from the papers I had that her parents both died when she was young. Her mother when Judith was only about 3. After her mothers death her father was unable to care for her and her siblings so they all got seperated to live with other people..some family, some not. Judith went to a married uncle. Her father later died when she about 10 yrs old.
.....but this was some of the best news I had had since I started this.
Judiths father was of Irish heritage, and her mother was of German!
WOW!! This is the first time I have ever been able to say what some of my heritage is..I'm an Irish/German! An interesting mix.
The next few weeks were spent exploring geneology sites and trying to piece together my ancestry. Surprisingly I was able to go way back to 1764 in Ireland on my 'grandfathers' side... and to 1846 in Germany on my 'grandmothers' side.
It was so good to be able to see names and dates that actually meant something to me..all of these people may have been long passed, but they were MY heritage, something I had never been able to say before!
Going back in time looking for information is so much easier then trying to find current day information. But it was a good basis to start with. Things were looking up!
August 26 2011 - My caseworker at the adoption agency that has been helping me and supporting me called today. She had some bittersweet news. firstly my files were being compiled and would be posted to me hopefully by the end of September. And.. my fathers full name is listed on one of the files!
Wow! This is just the break I need.
But before I could get too excited, my caseworker had more to say.
Because my birthfathers name is not officially on my birth certificate, his identity needs to be kept from me. Here is my caseworker sitting there looking at a simple name that means so much to me, but she is gagged when it comes to telling me. It has to be blanked out before they can send me copies. How cruel! But she is able to tell me his first name, just not the surname which is what I really need.
But heres the catch..according to this file his name isnt Stewart as Judith told me 12 months ago... its Robert!
A double punch in the guts... i had been told more lies about his name, and i was also being refused to know what the exact details are on file!
This is a time when PRIVACY LAWS SUCK! and something needs to be done to change this.
Now, back to waiting for these magical "social and medical information" files that i just have a suspicion are going to impact on me hard.
stay posted.... :)
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