Siblings have been found!

Well..about 2 days after posting the last post, on the 3rd February, through the powers of determination and social media, I located BOTH my sisters!

That's right, I've found both their profiles on facebook. So many times over the last few years  I have looked and searched and got nowhere.. but on this night I had success. I found one first, then looking back through their statuses and comments etc I was able to determine the other sister.

And..there are photos! Photos of them..their families.. and I'm fairly certain my birth mother is in a couple of the pictures. This is the first images I have ever seen of my birth family. My head is spinning! I can definitely see a physical resemblance of me in one sister in particular. I showed a couple of friends her picture and asked them if she looked familiar to them.. they all said, she looks like you? Yes!!

And looking at a photo of the woman that gave birth to me 39 years ago; The woman that walked out of St George Hospital without me. The woman that told me a couple of years ago that 'I am a mistake'!
I don't know what I'm feeling. Happy..Sad.. Excited.. Scared.. Anxious.. Frustrated.. Angry.. Hopefull!

How ironic that just a week earlier I watched that show on the ABC about Jono, searching for family online. Now I'm in exactly that same position he was.. siblings have been found, but now what do we do?

Today, as I write this, its now been 3 weeks since I first found my siblings profiles. I still haven't done anything about it, other then stalk from a distance. I'm assuming, or maybe just hoping, that one day in the future, sooner or later, my sisters will know about me and will read this blog.

So, to them I say..

"Hi! Im your older sister! You've read my story up till now. You should realise by now that I do not want to disrupt the relationships you have in your family unit. I do not hold grudges against OUR mother for what she did 39 years ago. Yes its sad that she chooses to have no contact or relationship with me.. and yes I'm frustrated that she won't/can't help me in my search for my birth father.. but that is all her choice. I respect that. What I have wanted all along was for you two girls to be offered the same choice of having contact with me. I can only imagine when you are made aware of my existence that you are going to be confused... mad.. then hopefully happy and excited! I would hope that you are both old enough and understanding enough to know that times were different back then. I don't want to be the cause of any trouble. I just would like the opportunity to get to know my sisters. But if neither of you want that, now or never, i respect that too. "

Some people have told me to send the girls a message... send them a friend request.. but I don't think that that is the right thing to do just now. I do think that Judy should be given the chance to tell them herself.. in her own way, but I know if its just left to her it will never happen.

I'm so torn.

I really don't want to cause disruption, but I also deserve to be acknowledged, don't I? I'm not one for ultimatums but how else will I ever know if my sisters want any kind of relationship.

I think I will get a good friend who understands my situation to ring Judy on my behalf. I will get them to tell her that eventually this is all going to come to a head. Give her time and warning to prepare herself for what is to come, and just maybe convince her that she should be the one to come clean to her husband and daughters, before my hand is forced.