Mum will forever be my mum, and dad will forever be my dad

Life went on as normal as it did for any teenager in the 80s and 90s.

1980 - aged 5, pacman and the rubiks cube become the rage

1983 - aged 8, the first cabbage patch kids were sold. i had one with brown curly hair called Alvin, in fact i still have him :) Until just this moment writing this, i didnt realise the irony about having a cabbage patch doll..they came with adoption papers too!

1985 - aged 10, Windows program invented by Micrsosoft

1987 - aged 12, I started high school

1989 - aged 14, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cowabunga'd into the world

1990 - aged 15, the INTERNET was created

1991 - aged 16, The Simpsons first aired on Australian TV

1992 - aged 17, i graduated high school with some of the best friends i could ask for.. Bec, Bindy, Izzy & Rach to name just a few xx

1996 - aged 21, I started what i later discovered i loved doing..working and DJing on community radio!

My adoption didnt really feature strongly in these years. 

Dont get me wrong, i was grateful (and lucky) to be raised in a loving safe family, but one time i can remember being really grateful, as selfish as it seems, was when my mum was diagnosed with a progressive terminal illness...and it was hereditary! 

Because i was adopted her illness would not be passed on to me or my children. But it did make me think, well what illnesses am i susceptible too??

Do you know how many times at doctors i get asked 'is there any medical history in your family'...and all i can say is ' I DON'T KNOW'!!

It was hard seeing mums health slowly deteriorate. But my love for her never wained. I think it was sometime after i got married in 2001 that the idea of searching for my birth family started to cross my mind.

September 2001 - My Wedding with mum and dad at the front

i can remember mentioning it to mum and dad. Dad was supportive, mum not so much. I think she was worried about me getting hurt. I also think she was scared that i might have been trying to replace her. Her health was getting slowly worse, by this stage she was in a wheelchair, unable to walk. 

But noone would EVER take her place, not even the person who gave birth to me, because she will forever be my mum and dad will forever be my dad. Out of respect and love for mum i put aside any plans to search.

She longed to see me have my own family and was utterly thrilled when in November 2004 i gave birth to James. He was 7.5 weeks prem and had to spend 6 or 7 weeks in hospital, and mum was bedbound at home so it was nearly 2 months before she could hold him.

December 2004 - Mums first hold of her grandson James

Having my own child stirred up a few emotions... how could a mother just give away their baby? why didnt she want me; did i do something wrong? these are questions that became more important to know the answers.

i thought i would at least take the first step in this lifelong journey, and do what i had to do whilst trying not to upset mum.

In the adoption search process the very first thing needed is a golden ticket they call a Supply Authority. This..

'authorises information sources under the Adoption Act 2000 to supply the bearer with certificates and other prescribed information relating to the adoption below'.

I got my golden ticket in March 2005. This finally gave me a name for my birthmother; Judy P. (as this is a public blog, i will withhold publishing surnames of people involved) the fathers name was left blank. And that was also when i first seen written in black and white my name as 'unnamed'

Unnamed Female

With this piece of paper i was able to send for my 'original birth certificate' where i learnt a little bit more about Judy..her place of birth..her address at time of my birth, and i was also able to do a marriage search to see if she married and what her married name might be.

A quick look on the electoral roll and in the white pages and i had a phone number and an address..but now what? 

Now it was time to put all this aside and focus on mum. She was fighting a battle that she couldnt win, but she was a fighter! Dad stood by her the whole way. She had seen HER daughter marry.. and seen HER daughter have a child..they were some of her greatest wishes. 

For 20 plus years she battled until she could fight no more. 

RIP Mum xxx May 1944 - August 2005

I LOVE YOU