Whoa!! What a month it has been!! So much has gone on, non-adoption related.
My best friends 22 yr old son was missing for 10 days till he was sadly found deceased :( RIP David! Always remembered. Then there was a tragic car accident just out of town that took 3 innocent lives (2 young children and their dad). Me and my husband were only a matter of 1-2 minutes from it being us. That really rattled me. Another friend attempted suicide, but thankfully is ok now. And then had to take James to hospital after he cut his thumb and needed it glued.
As I said, its been quite an eventful few weeks!
The adoption journey has been mostly pretty quiet but there has been a few things.
If you remember my last post I spoke about the Taren Point Bowling Club. Well I did ring the bowling club again, and the guy I been talking to there said he was waiting to talk to a couple people he thought may be able to help or to know something, then he'd ring back. Yes, I'm still waiting.
I have also called Judith again. I got brave enough to mention the 2 people I'd been told could be possible father, and got the response I expected.... denial!!
It is so frustrating being denied my own family information. My own birth mother can't/or wont come forward with the truth.. the government is determined to keep me in the dark! Why should a person have to fight and battle to know their heritage!!
Shouldnt it be my basic right???
In my frustration I remembered something my case worker had told me last year.
All the social worker records I have (including the one piece of paper with a fathers full name written on it) is also available to Judith UNEDITED if she applies for them herself. I mention this to Judith and ask her if its as simple as a phone call, would she apply for the papers and then tell me the name that appears on the papers. She says she would do this!
Ok..quick, I call my caseworker. I ask her 'can Judith apply for the social worker records with a simple phone call?' The short answer is....No!!!
DAMMITT!!!
For her to get the papers it has to be done the hard way... a written letter.. and 3 copies of her ID, all witnessed and signed by a JP. Well there goes that idea because before I even ring Judith back I know that wont ever happen.
Yep..just as I expected. She simply just tossed it into the 'too hard' basket. If only she was open and honest with her current family about my existence, things could be so much easier. Im sure if they knew they would be only too happy to help her do this, to help me. But whilst I remain a secret, I have to just sit and take the consequences.
I wish I was a harsher person..a friend suggested to me that maybe I need to just really put my foot down and come out with some threats or blackmail....along the lines of ' You tell me what i need to know, or at least help me get the information, or I'm going to expose my existence to your husband and children'. But what would that achieve??? Turmoil in her family unit... more rejection from her towards me... but maybe it would open up communication between me and my half sisters that know nothing about me.
What to do?? What to do?? I am fast running out of patience in playing nice with her!!
In fact the more I sit and think about it, the madder i feel!!!!
