This post I am going to try and cover everything that has happened since meeting my cousin in January up to the current date, May 2013 so then I can update on current feelings and new developments as they happen.
I rang Judith again about another 2 times so far this year. Whilst she was still no help in providing my birth fathers name, she did reveal a little more info, after lots of questions and prompting from me. I found out she has 2 daughters.. my half sisters.. but of course they aren't even aware of my existence, and she doesn't want them to know. But my perseverance and asking questions and seeking answers does lead her to say that 'I am a lot like one of her daughters'. That kind of made me happy knowing that maybe my personality and mannerisms are like someone else's because of genes!
Another piece of information she gave out was the name of the Uncle that she went to live with when her mother passed away. This could be a big help in tracing some other family and more information. I did a white pages search on this name in the area of Tumut/Gundagai which eventually led me to a beautiful lady called Marj who's late husband was my grandfathers cousin. It has truly been a blessing to find her. She has been so warm and welcoming and really a wealth of information.
In just a few short months and a handful of phone calls we have cemented a strong friendship. She knew my grandfather quite well..shes told me stories about how he used to go to their place for Sunday dinner, and would sit on the back verandah playing the piano accordion Its little things like this which I love to hear about. Marj has also opened up many new avenues for me to expand my search.
With her help I have now been in contact with an Uncle and have seen a picture of a half-uncle.
The uncle, of course knew nothing of my existence, but seemed happy to listen to my story. I didn't get that big, open arm, warm or emotional welcome from him, but he did say if I ever got to Sydney he would be happy to meet me!
The half-uncle is the son of my grandmother before she met and married my grandfather. I'm yet to make contact with him but I will.
I also had a phone conversation with the uncle of my cousin who visited me in January. He is an elderly gentleman who again didn't really know much about my direct descendants, but he was so happy to talk and tell me all about himself and his family.
I really have been lucky with the people I approach, particularly the older ones. They have all been really keen to try and help as best they can, and all are sorry that they can not help with my main problem of finding my birth father.
I have also been lucky enough to find and speak to twice, someone that knew Judith quite well at the time of my birth. In fact this person actually drove her to the hospital to have me. Her waters broke in his car... ooops, sorry! lol When I questioned him if he knew who my father might be, he immediately said he thinks its one of 2 people! Wow!! This is the first time I've had such a positive response to the question of my paternity. I asked for details..
He said one possibility could be a young guy (he never knew his name...could it have Robert??) that Judith used to see every Friday night at the local Bowlo for quite a while. We are not sure if he just drank there, or worked there as well. On my papers it said 'my father worked in a hotel'.
But the second possibilty and the one this person thinks is more likely the one, was someone called Max. (I have his full name, but again for privacy reasons I'll keep it quiet for just now). He went on to explain who Max was... he was the husband of her Aunty, and Judith was living with them!
Wellllllllll....this could explain a lot ..why all the secrecy and lies. Max was quite a lot older then Judith and from reports was very possessive and intimidating over her. But this is just one persons opinion and feelings on the matter, it may not necessarily be accurate and still to this day I have not mentioned this information to Judith to see what her response is. But I can already guess what her reaction will be... denial!
The Bowling Club mentioned was the Taran Point Bowling Club in Sydney. And yes I have even rang them to see if anyone still drinks or works there that may have been around in the 70s. I need to ring back and chase that up again soon but it doesnt look too promising.
In the last few months I have also applied and received my medical records from the hospital. Not a great deal more in there from what I already knew other then my time of birth.
Labour began..4.30am; fully dilated 4.55am; born 5.14am! 45 minutes from start to finish! Does this explain my impatience nowadays?
And the other interesting thing..listed under 'person for notification' (or next of kin) is her aunty..Max's wife!
Im fairly certain both Max and his wife would be passed on by now, so really unless Judith comes out with the truth I dont know if I'm ever going to find out who my father is!
So as you can see, it has been a fairly busy few months on my rollercoaster ride. Im so glad to be caught up and can now update as things happen.
I hope you have all enjoyed it so far and continue to follow my journey.
I welcome any comments and feedback or any help anyone can offer.
I have an email just for this adoption stuff..
helpfindrobert@hotmail.com
If anyone has free access to search sites such as ancestry.com or electoral rolls or cemeteries etc I would be more then happy to provide full names of people I'm looking for.
Just leave a comment here or send an email to above address.
